Ashley & Derek Are Too Cheap For Our Own Good!

Observing the transfer rumour mill going round this summer has been interesting. We seem to be linked with a number of decent players, in which we have actually made formal enquiries and bids. The Andy Carroll offer came from no-where and was very exciting to see at the time.
However, unfortunately there has been a running theme throughout this summer which has been slowly pissing me off more and more through each day and that's Mike Ashley and Derek Llambias are embarrassingly cheap! More than I ever thought they were before.


It's got to the point of embarrassing now and actually quite alarming. Especially to our potential reputation within football. Some of the offers we have made for top class players has been a farce at times. We went in for Douglas, who is considered a top class defender on his day, with a bid of around £3million. £3million?! Anyone with a brain will tell you that this kid is worth at least double that. They rightfully told us to go f*ck ourselves.

We also have been chasing Debuchy for weeks now. Everyone knows about it. What everyone else also knows is that he is a top class player. He was good in the Euros and didn't do anything to harm his reputation. The lad, for whatever reason, has even made it public that he actually WANTS to join NUFC. Forget Inter Milan who are also chasing him, forget Chelsea, he wants to play for Newcastle Utd. Brilliant. Unbelievable. This is too good to be true. That's one decent signing in the bag then...well no not exactly. He is still at Lille and it seems we are no nearer to securing his signature. He has the pen in his hand waiting for this thing to go through. What the f*ck is going on?!


Here's a conversation that would represent the situation nicely: 
NUFC Fans, 'Debuchy wants to come doesn't he. Sign him up than yea?!'
Mike and Derek, '....well no not exactly.' 
Fans, 'Well what's the problem?'
Mike and Derek, 'We can't agree a fee.' 
Fans, 'Oh I see, are his club asking for too much money and overstating his worth.'
Mike and Derek, 'Well, no, not really.'
Fans, 'What? I don't understand'
Mike and Derek, 'Well they want around £8mil'
Fans, 'Ok then, that's seems about right. Its a moderate fee for someone of his ability, I don't see the problem.'
Mike and Derek, 'Well we are a pair of greedy fat bastards who like to get things on the cheap and don't like to actually pay for things that are there rightful worth.'


The situation is embarrassing now and has officially pissed me off. If we miss out on one of the best full backs in Europe, who actually wants to sign for us and nobody else, that is worth a moderate amount of money that is more than affordable to us...then that will be an absolute disgrace. How cheap do these clowns want to be?! If Lille were asking for £10million than I could understand it. If Debuchy turned us down for a move to Inter Milan or Chelsea instead than I could understand it. What I don't understand is how a player that is hell bent on a move to us, is valued at his correct price, isn't already on Tyneside! Never mind no where near signing as we speak.


The scousers laughed off our initial bid for Andy Carroll as not even worthy of considering, which is always nice to hear (not) and we haven't exactly came back with an improvement have we? Are these blokes for real? Yohan Cabaye had a release clause in his contract which is the reason we got him so cheap. Demba Ba had the same for his free transfer. Mike & Derek got themselves a good deal on Papiss Cisse as he was worth 15m Euros this time last summer but his price came down significantly to 10mil in January and Mike got his cheque book out. Fair play. But where has his cheque book gone? We obviously have the means as we are making bid's for players left right and centre.


Now I am all for getting the best price possible and not being taken for a ride. I get that and agree with it. The Freddie Shephard days were shocking at times, but this is beyond that now. It's too far the other way. Bidding for players at half there value is not going to get us anywhere and only develop our football club with a reputation as cheap, time wasters who aren't worth listening to. £3million for Douglas? £4million for Debuchy? £4mil for Anita? A loan and £12mil for Carroll? Who are you they trying to kid?! Get Douglas in for £5-6mil, Debuchy in for £7-8mil, Anita in for £6-7mil and Carroll for £15mil (if not a loan first).
It's what they are worth, it's what their clubs want & rightfully expect, they aren't exactly massively expensive apart from maybe Carroll and the most ridiculous thing about these deals...is that the players above actually want to sign for us and are waiting for deals to be agreed. When was the last time we had these type of players wishing to join us? If we can't afford all of the above then fine. Just do the important deals like Debuchy and Douglas first and see where we go afterwards.


But I don't think it is a case of not being able to afford them...it's a case of being too cheap to f*cking pay for them!

Why Carroll Deal Makes Sense & Isn't Dead Yet

I got all excited on Sunday evening seeing that NUFC had make a cheeky loan bid to bring back Carroll to Toon. The bid was rejected pretty much straight away, which on reflection, was pretty inevitable. Especially at the terms that have emerged overnight.
NUFC apparently offered to pay 50% of Carroll's £75k p/w wages with an option to make a £12million offer next summer. This deal was never going to be accepted, so why make it?


Well what the offer does is make it known to Andy Carroll and the rest of us that NUFC are genuinely interested and it has certainly planted a seed inside Carroll's head for making a possible comeback. Which from this day forward can only grow and grow, until a decision will finally be made.


I fully expect NUFC to comeback with a better offer in the region of £15million to bring him back, if the seed planted has indeed grown to an immovable tree that Carroll has his heart set on. In which I expect Liverpool to bite the dust and accept that a deal like this would be in the best interest of themselves as well as the player. Brendan Rodgers has already accepted Carroll doesn't fit into his 'pass it to death' style and is willing to let him go, so you can't see LFC keeping him. Why would they refuse some decent compensation for him, continue to pay his wages & keep an unhappy player against his wishes? That makes less sense than trying to save face and refusing to sell him back to the club they paid £35million to...as embarrassing as that is.


Player power is key for this move ever to to be made. That much is certain. Andy Carroll will have to be pro-active in making it happen. If it were purely down to Liverpool & Newcastle to thrash out a deal between themselves, it wouldn't happen. We're the last club Liverpool would choose to sell Andy to as it would make them look more than a little silly.  They would much rather ship him off to an Aston Villa or a West Ham or even an AC Milan (good luck with Mandy) just to save face if nothing else. Also from NUFC's point of view, there is no chance of us paying anything over £15million or the kind of money LFC would rather be scrambling for if they had it there own way. AC has to make his feelings known that he will only move from LFC, back home to us and nobody else, for this deal to be pulled off.


If that sounds unlikely, than I cant help but look at the Robbie Keane fiasco Liverpool went through not so long ago. They signed him from Spurs for £20million, he was considered a flop and sold back 6 months later for a lower fee. Keane forced that move through and the scousers played ball. History could well repeat itself on a slightly higher scale, so it isn't as unlikely as it may seem.


Whether Andy Carroll fitting in our current squad and playing style makes sense is another issue altogether & to be honest, is only worth going through if this transfer does indeed move forward and look apparent. Where this also leave's Demba Ba is another story. The July 31st deadline in his release clause continue's to tick down & I have no doubts a story or two will come about for last season's top scorer until then.


What's clear in my eyes is that any kind of a deal for Carroll coming back would be a job well done for NUFC. He is a player that came through our youth system, was class in the first team & then sold for a ridiculous record fee. All of which was pure net profit. The net gain we made would reduce slightly with whatever fee we give back to the scousers, but to have the deal come full circle would be very sweet indeed.


We shall see.

Carroll Back In Toon?!

Bano is back baby after my pre-season summer holidays. I have been waiting for something interesting to happen before I make my first post on a new site name ToonBano.com, but I am back with a bomb. NUFC make bid for Andy Carroll! Boom! 


My heart actually skipped a beat when I saw that headline as I casually stuck on teletext on Sunday afternoon. The offer is a season long loan with a view to a fee of around £12million to make it permanent we're hearing. I'm also reading now that the bid has been rejected by Liverpool. 


Now all of this is very exciting & I was not expecting this to happen...or was I?! Lets back up a second shall we...


On the 1st February 2011 I said the words, "£35million?! For Carroll? That is ridiculous. Take it. I guarantee you he will be considered a flop, he'll have to be at that price. We'll then loan him back with a view to signing him back for a fraction of the price in a year or 2. Just like Spurs did with Robbie Keane. Mark my words"
So I sit here now 15 months later feeling a little smug but also shocked at the same time as this thing might actually happen after all.

This deal, if NUFC come back with a better bid & it were to go through at some point, was inevitable in my eyes when you consider it properly. a) Liverpool have a history of getting rid of players quickly aka Robbie Keane, Joe Cole, Alberto Aquilani, Bellamy, etc. b) He is never going to live upto £35mil in a million years and will buckle under the pressure, being labelled a flop. c) If he were to leave Liverpool it would be for a bigger club (for whatever reason) or in failing that, there is only one other club Andy Carroll could ever play for...and that's his boy-hood, home-town team Newcastle Utd.

Basically the deal had three phases to complete before it can be rightfully claimed as the best single piece of transfer business by a club in the history of football. Phase 1) Sell him for a ridiculous, obscene fee in which you can buy a new team with. Phase 2) Wait for him to buckle under the pressure and be considered a flop by most as there is no chance he could possibly live up to expectations. Phase 3) Bring him back on loan/buy him back for a fraction of the price and just taste nothing but sweet net profit. Mmmm. I absolutely love it.....plus an added bonus of making Liverpool into an even bigger joke of a football club. Ha. I miss Kenny already...

The trouble is I am all excited now and will be gutted if this deal doesn't happen. Plus there are the small points of a) whether we want him back, b) would he be accepted back or c) whether he could actually fit into our new style. 

On point a) I would have him back in a heart beat. I have always backed him ever since he left us and thought he got far too much of a raw deal at Anfield. I mean Liverpool refused to use him to his strenghts, it was ridiculous. Listening to there excuse of 'well, we dont play like Newcastle' was laughable. So why did you buy him then? Idiots.

Point b) Mandy has his haters within the walls of SJP, there's no doubt about it. I have heard them. However, i'm not being disrespectful or dismissive to those people but as soon as they saw Mandy smash a few in, wearing the black 'n' white again, their tune would certainly start to wane if not change altogether (depending on his level of success obviously). They will come round. Trust me.

Point c) Is probably the only thing that has me thinking on a negative note about it. I am a disciple of the 4-3-3 formation we tried out for a bit last season. It was beautiful. So Papiss would certainly lead that tripod. so Mandy, in my team, would be a bench warmer to come on and terrorise. However, I have the distinct feeling that Pardew is going to have the 4-4-2 as our Plan A again this year (i'm afraid) so he would fit into this...but so would Demba Ba. Interesting what his future is going to be this summer. I also have a strong feeling the lad will be off by the end of this month as somebody with a wage budget will add Demba to their list of employees, which he would happily accept. I have my feelings about Demba and they aren't all good. He seems very money driven and if he thinks for a second he will be asked to play LW again this season, his decision to leave would be a lot easier. He just doesn't like it. End of. 


From Andy's view as well there is also the issue of whether he would actually want to come back himself. Especially after what happened in the 2-0 win we had over the scousers in which he was basically embarrassed and humiliated though-out. That dive was shocking, dear me. But I personally think he would if we showed genuine desire to wish him back with open arms.

We also need to look at, why would Liverpool let him join us, they have rejected the first bid as it falls short of their valuation. Regardless of price, as far as they are concerned, we are a direct rival to their ambitions next season. To loan us one of there players to make us stronger wouldn't make much sense. It seems the only way they would sell him/loan him to us is if Andy himself uses his player power to force a move through. Robbie Keane got himself back to Spurs within 6 months of signing for Liverpool for £20mil, so it has happened before. Player power can't be underestimated. If Carroll says, 'I want to go back and no-where else' can Liverpool stop him? Who knows.

Having said all of this, it is still very early days & the bid has been rejected. So unless NUFC come back with a better offer this potential transfer could be dead & may be totally forgotten about this time next week. I am not getting too excited, but it has certainly livened up this summer massively. Certainly enough to awake me from my summer hibernation. We shall see how this one pans out. The transfer window is officially open!

Good to be back!