Newcastle Isn't Ran Like A Football Club. Its Ran By Yes Men!

For all those wondering in total amazement why Newcastle haven't sacked McClaren yet, the simple answer is because they are not ran as a normal traditional football club.

99% of people see a football club ran as the following: Hire a manager, manager does very badly, manager is sacked - almost purely based on ability of manager and team results.

Newcastle isn't ran like this. The powers that be don't want someone who asks questions or challenges them. They want a 'Yes Man'. That's the main criteria anyone is ever hired at NUFC whether it be in the board room or dugout.

Why do you think Alan Pardew was first brought in after being sacked by a League One team, remained in charge after dreadful seasons, dreadful results and dreadful PR situations?? Because he did what was told and NEVER moaned about it in public. He never demanded transfer money or players to be replaced. Exactly what Ashley, and whoever his 'Yes Man' chairman at the time happens to be, want. Pards headbutted a player for crying out loud!

Why do you think John Carver was put in charge last season and lasted for as long as he did despite losing every single game (practically)?? Because he wouldn't demand anything. Not from his employers anyway. 

Why do you think Joe Kinnear was brought in from the total footballing wilderness....TWICE?! Was he qualified for either role? No, of course not. But Ashley knew him, knew he wouldn't moan at the unbelievable job he had been given, so in he came to total bemusement from everyone.

Looking at it from another way;

Why do you think Joey Barton has his contract ripped up a few years back? Because he questioned the club.

Why do you think the unreal talent of Ben Arfa had his contract ripped up? Because he questioned the manager.

Why was Jonas Gutierrez released after saving them from relegation and overcoming cancer? Because his cancer caused 'an issue' they would much rather not deal with.

Which sums up the way Newcastle Utd football club is ran. The owner and board members don't want to have to make decisions. They don't want the responsibility. The last thing they want or need is to actually have to deal with something.

This is why Mac is still in a job. This is why they put him on the board to begin with. Why is the manager on the board? Do they want him to do everything? The one thing he cant do is manage the football team which causes them a major issue. How the hell can we find someone else who will be able to manage the team but yet not ask us any questions or make any demands....??

This is the mindboggling conundrum the CEO and Ashley find themselves in. The last thing in the world they want to do now is bring in an actual good qualified manager. An outsider. A rogue to their 'Yes Man' party.

Benitez, Moyes, Rodgers = unknown, untrustworthy.

NUFC literally don't have clue what to do right now so will probably just do nothing and wait to see if McClaren can get a result at Leicester.

Jose Mourinho himself could drive up to St James Park, do an interview with Sky Sports News out of his car window declaring he is here to save the day and Lee Charnley will pretend he isn't in and refuse to open his office door.

Charnley: Brenda....! No more calls. Im at lunch!

Brenda: Again?

NUFC is not a football club as we know it. The whole footballing world needs to wake up to this fact.

Follow me on Twitter @ToonBano

Steve McClaren Is No Manager. He's Nothing But A Snide, Gutless, Conman

I've been pretty quiet on the blogging front this season with my many other committments but given our clubs plight, I've woken up. As an aspiring coach myself, I was all for Steve McClaren coming in as I thought he would create a well coached team with a sense of purpose and identity. How wrong I was. Steve McClaren may have all the coaching badges and experience in the world however when it comes to being a manager, he is nothing short of a conman.

His press conferences and interviews after pathetic performances week after week are staggering. I have never known such lack of standards in all my life. He has stated in 8 out of 10 interviews after every defeat claiming we played well. Now he either believes this nonsense or he is given us all the cheap insurance salesman 'sell' to let us know that 'everything's fine'. Neither wash. Big time.


Only now has he come out after 28 games of a totally forgettable inept season and openly turned on his players. The only reason he is doing this is because the fans have openly turned on him. Talk about gutless. The snide arrogance of the man is impossible to stomach. He comes across as slimy when he is being complimentary so you can only imagine what he is like when he isn't. His smirk complete with ridiculous tuft of hair he insist on having makes you sick.

How he still looks at himself in the mirror and calls himself a Head Coach takes some doing. Perhaps 'Coach' is the key word as even he doesn't have the nerve to call himself a 'Manager'. He doesn't have the balls to take on the responsibility of what being a manger is all about. If he did, we wouldn't be in this position. We would either be higher up in the table or he would have quit by now. Hiding behind thee tag of Head Coach keeps his focus on the training field...not St James Park where it counts.

When things go wrong his solution is to 'sort it out on the training ground'. I'm not saying this
is wrong, as many coaches/managers do this, but these other managers always have the primary focus of fixing the problems for the match day performance. Not just to coach the solution at the training ground and declare 'job done, its fixed'. Not at any point have Newcastle Utd fixed anything on the training pitch for the match day performance as we haven't improved in ANY department of the team. If anything we have been getting worse all season. This latest Bournemouth showing proves it.

Not at any stage did we look like winning. We don't defend properly, create enough chances or take the few chances we do create. We haven't all season. That's why we are the worst team outside of Aston Villa. Newcastle Utd are in 19th place in the Premier League after 28 games. We have 24 points. We have never been on this situation before in my lifetime. Even when we went down in 2009 we had more points and were hovering outside the bottom three. This season is a shambles.

Now let me repeat my earlier point of the manager, not Head Coach but managers press interviews this season. 8 times out of 10 he has stated we played well. He even said it last week after Stoke. He said after we had one shot on target in the 93rd minute that we showed fight and quality. He even said it after the Bournemouth game we need to get back to the Stoke performance. What is this man on? Is he actually being serious? Does he have any standards as a manager or what?

No self respecting football manager would even dare claim to have been playing well when you're 19th in the league, fail to score a goal week after week after week after week and show no quality whatsoever. He is a nothing but a conman. He has never been a football manager. Especially in the Premier League and even more at a club the size of Newcastle. Some journalist said he has been out of his depth since day one. I can't disagree. He has conned his way in and has been desperate to convince us all to stay. He's failed.

The performances on the pitch and results to go with it say everything you need to know. Even the most clueless gullable human being can look at the league table and realise things aren't 'going well'. This gutless pretender needs to be removed from his position of huge power and replaced with a genuine Manager who takes responsibility for his and his teams actions on the pitch. Coaches coach Monday to Friday, Managers do this but also manage Saturday and Sunday. It's a 7 day a week job. Something McClaren doesn't have the stomach for.

He can go back to coaching, working with the FA, putting on coaching master classes, speaking to
young up and coming coaches all day long. I have no problem with that. Steve McClaren can teach me a coaching session or two no problem and I will be in his awe. However when it comes to managing a team, no thanks. I think I run my u12s better then he ever could and that is a scary thought considering he has my dream job.

Who to come in next is another question but I would take Benitez, Rodgers or even Moyes to give these lot a kick up the a**e and the true leadership they need. I really don't care which one as long as it's one of them, anyone else would be underwhelming and may not have the impact required. One thing is for sure, McClaren the pretender needs to go. Now.

We have a week till our next game at Leicester. We all know we will be turned over with this current regime so why pretend any longer?

Follow me on Twitter @ToonBano